Sharing the joys of country living, motherhood, and creating a Christ-centered home

📖 What Kind of a Host Are You? "Hospitality"

Hospitality looks different for everyone. Some of us love trying new recipes, while others prefer cozy gatherings, themed parties, or simple coffee with a friend. In this post, I explore five different hosting styles, share personal stories from my own experiences, and reflect on the biblical heart behind hospitality. No matter your personality or season of life, God can use your home, gifts, and resources to make others feel welcome and loved.

Laura Pelletier

6/22/20268 min read

“Thoughts on hospitality, welcoming others into our homes, and the different ways we show care to our guests.”

More than forty times—yes, forty times—across the Old and New Testaments, we are told to be hospitable or generous with what God has given us.

Do you think God wants us to be generous and hospitable? Most certainly!

There are many ways we can do that without opening our home, but we are going to hone in on that aspect specifically.

Everyone has their own style, or their own flavor, if you will, for their clothing, decor, outdoor spaces, etc. (From what I understand, my husband's home style before he met me was brown everything, lol.)

Your hosting also has a style, and I want to help you understand what your styles are and give you tips to help your hosting experience be smooth. I have been a lot of these types of hosts throughout my life thus far.

The Experimental Chef

Their mindset:

“What new recipe can I try for my guests?”

Their Hosting Style:

New recipes, seasonal ingredients, and a willingness to try something different every time guests visit.

This host uses every hosting experience to further their repertoire of recipes and uses their guests as guinea pigs for each new dish.

They love to surprise their guests with something unusual or unique. Sometimes the meal is a huge hit, and sometimes it's a learning experience—but either way, you're enjoying the process.

I love a good excuse to make something you wouldn't typically try on a regular night.

I made a Thai noodle recipe for guests once when I was newly married, and it was so very delicious. If only I had not lost the recipe, I would have used it more than two times.

I still love to try new things, but my capacity for trying new recipes has significantly decreased since having children.

You might be an Experimental Chef if:

You save recipes and invite people over just to try them out.
You own random ingredients that you have to figure out how to incorporate into your daily menus.
You ask, “Want to be my taste tester?”

Gentle Tweak:

Your guests are coming to see you, not judge your cooking. Don't let a recipe mishap steal your joy. Good friends and guests will forgive you if the food doesn't turn out just right.

I hosted a meal for some families at our church, and for one of the dishes, I "cooked with my heart" and made a few substitutions. Oh boy, did it look gross. It ended up tasting decent, but it did not look appetizing at all. My guests were very gracious and tried it despite the lack of appeal.

The Cozy Family Host

Their mindset:

They want people to feel comfortable and cared for, and they believe the more the merrier. Your goal is for everyone to feel at home. You care more about warmth and comfort than impressing anyone.

Their Hosting Style:

Soft lighting, warm drinks, good conversations, and guests lingering long after the gathering was supposed to end.

When I lived in the city, even before I met and married my husband, I started hosting outdoor movie nights.

I made a screen out of canvas, and I bought an inexpensive projector with the goal of inviting people of all ages to movie nights.

I loved setting up chairs in my backyard, having popcorn and homemade snacks. Typically, our evenings lasted long after the movie ended because of the conversations we enjoyed afterward.

After a few movie nights, my guests began feeling at home and would walk right around to the back of my house or walk in the front door without feeling the need to knock. I loved that they felt that sense of home.

I am already planning where the outdoor screen will be located here on our acreage.

You might be a Cozy Host if:

Guests are told to kick off their shoes.
Your home feels lived-in and welcoming.
You always make extra food.
Your favorite sound is a full house.

Gentle Tweak:

Remember that not every gathering has to be large. Smaller gatherings can create just as much connection.

This is a hard one for me. I have always believed that the more the merrier, but sometimes I have to remind myself that it is good to connect with people one-on-one.

The Entertainer

Their mindset:

They love creating memorable experiences, and they enjoy making an event feel special.

Their Hosting Style:

Games, themed gatherings, decorations, and special touches that make an event feel memorable.

I was part of a singles group that would get together for different events and outings.

I hosted the Christmas party for several years, and this was my mindset.

One year we did karaoke, and my cousin sang a VeggieTales Christmas song. Another year I set up Minute to Win It games. We had a blast.

But my inner Entertainer definitely comes out every year when I host a murder mystery party for my birthday.

Yes, you heard that right. The costumes, the decorations, the acting...the whole thing. And I love it.

My favorite party theme so far was set in the Roaring 1920s.

You might be an Entertainer if:

You think ahead about activities.
You enjoy planning details.
Your gatherings have a distinct theme.
Guests leave with stories to tell.

Gentle Tweak:

You don't have to keep the party moving every minute. Some of the best moments happen naturally.

I'm a people pleaser, and I had to learn this lesson the hard way. I have wanted to entertain my guests so much that I felt anxious when things didn't go the way I planned.

God designed me to glorify Him, not to find approval and worth in pleasing everyone else.

By God's grace, I have learned to slow down and not stress about keeping my guests entertained every second.

The Chill Host

Their Mindset: Come as you are. The house may not be perfect, but the door is open. You'd rather spend time with people than stress over preparation.

Your Hosting Style:

A relaxed atmosphere, simple food, and a home where guests feel comfortable from the moment they walk in.

I have known my best friend Julia for over twenty-eight of my thirty-one years, and she could tell you that she has seen my house in many states. One being a disaster.

I am an extreme extrovert who bought a big house at age twenty-four so I could host people. I learned at that point that if I wanted to have people over spur of the moment, I had to be okay with people seeing a lived-in house.

Currently, with a toddler and infant, it is even harder to keep everything clean and picked up constantly.

I know that if we want to have people over I will either stress clean, or I can do what I can to make my home presentable and be okay that it isn’t perfect.

Having a beautiful outdoor space is a big blessing for us here on our acreage.

Writing this, it’s funny to see myself in all of these styles since they can be very different, but situationally I can be very different as well.

You might be a Chill Host if:

You invite people over on short notice.
You aren't bothered if things aren't perfect.
You value presence over presentation.

Gentle Tweak:

A little preparation can go a long way. Be sure not to get so comfortable that your guests feel uncomfortable with the mess, or feel like they have to help you clean when they come over.

Growing up, my room was always a disaster and my mom would tell me that I couldn't have anyone over unless it was clean. But my mom did allow my twin best friends at my church to come over occasionally on Sunday afternoons because they would motivate me and help me clean it.

We all have friends that will come over and not think anything about the mess or love helping us clean, but make sure you know your guests and how to care for them well.

The Pinterest-Perfect Host

Their Mindset:

How can I create beauty in my home for my guests to enjoy?

Their Hosting Style:

You love beautiful details and thoughtful presentations. The tablescape is coordinated, the food is arranged just right, and every little touch feels intentional. You enjoy creating an atmosphere that makes guests feel special.

“You don’t have to do all of this, Laura,” were my husband’s words. “But I want to make it pretty.”

We unfortunately lack a dining space in our new home, so we have had to come up with creative options for having people over for dinner.

This specific occasion was one of our first hosted dinners in our new home, and I wanted to make it pretty.

It was far from Pinterest-perfect, but the tablecloth and place settings were intentionally set to be aesthetic.

I love beauty, and when possible, I love to use the creativity that God has given me to create a beautiful space for hosting.

You might be a Pinterest-Perfect Host if:

You own serving dishes for specific occasions.
Your charcuterie board deserves its own photoshoot.
Guests often ask, “How did you think of that?”

Gentle Tweak:

Don’t let the pursuit of beauty be the main goal when hosting.

There are those who only host to get a good picture to share online, but we seek to be biblical and show love and interest in others when we host.

I still enjoy making things beautiful, but I know that a perfectly set table means very little if the people sitting around it don't feel valued.

People will remember your hospitality long after they forget your centerpiece.

The Heart Behind Hospitality

If you’ve read this far, you, like me, have probably recognized yourself in more than one category.

Depending on the season of life, I’ve been all of these people to some degree or another.

Opening your home can come with difficulties—cleaning, cooking, setting up, washing dishes, and entertaining your guests. Sometimes it drains our batteries regardless of whether we had a good evening or not.

So why should we do it?

“Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.” — 1 Peter 4:9–10

In this passage, Peter reminds the church that they have been given gifts by the Lord to use to love others and be hospitable.

We are called to be hospitable throughout Scripture, and because of that, I want to encourage you to be obedient.

The truth is, hospitality isn't about fitting perfectly into one box. It's about using the gifts, personality, home, and resources God has given us to make others feel welcome while fulfilling the second commandment: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Whether you're serving a Pinterest-worthy meal, hosting a themed party, or simply inviting someone over for coffee, hospitality reflects the heart of Christ.

Regardless of the hosting circumstance, we should be asking ourselves:

“How can I love the people God has brought into my home?”